The end of some things and beginnings of others

Tuesday night marked the official end of Jake’s tenure as the primary leader and teacher of Clearnote Campus Fellowship. Eight years ago Jake helped cast a vision for a ministry from our church to college students with an on campus presence. Initially he wasn’t directly involved, but some things changed and he quickly became head honcho, if you will.

You might remember that first year I was leading a small women’s Bible study in central campus. The next year Jake was having a men’s Bible study in our living room that often went into the early hours of the morning. Those men studied and memorized the Sermon on the Mount and some agreed to shave their heads as a consequence of failing to keep up. A year or two later I lead a group of ladies in memorizing the same thing (that’s all of Matthew 5-7), but I didn’t require hair cutting of those that lagged behind. Some of the students that came to CNCF in those earlier days mark how long they’ve known us by how old Peter was when we met them.

The ending of this chapter is a bittersweet one as CNCF has been such a huge part of all of our married and family life to this point. Our family grew and grew and it became more difficult for me to be directly involved, but we kept trying to get students in our home for dinners, Bible studies at various times, and a party here and there. We’ve experienced sweet and encouraging times of growth as well as some sad and very hard things along the way.

Jake’s work with CNCF is not completely over. The bulk of the work is being passed on to Alex McNeilly and his wife, Dani. Both Alex and Dani have served in the ministry since they came to IU as high school sweethearts. Alex attended the pastors college after graduating from IU and has been growing in leadership in CNCF. Jake will be stepping back to focus more on other things while still overseeing and advising Alex and the other leaders in the campus ministry.

Jake’s new role will be that of pastor for discipleship. Which broken down means that he’ll be overseeing Sunday school and student ministries. He’ll be freed to work more closely with the junior and senior high youth group leaders to help them further develop and grow their ministries. Another big part of this new tasking is integrating and streamlining the various children’s programs (Sunday school, Wednesday nights) so they work together better. These things are integral for seeing our church grow and sustain families.

We’re ready to move on from college ministry and we’re looking forward to the new things coming up. At the same time, we’ll still miss it, some of it anyway. 😉

The first week in CNCF…

Some creative work of a couple students. We used this chalkboard at our table for a couple events during welcome week.

CNCF meets on campus every Tuesday night at 8pm for worship, preaching, and fellowship.

Men’s and women’s Bible studies will be meeting all over campus on Wednesday and Thursday evenings.

Please pray for CNCF!

• for Jake as he prepares to preach and the band as they lead worship
• that many new students would come excited
• that the students would be receptive
• that good connections would be made and Bible studies established

It’s Welcome Week!

No, this is not graffiti. At least not illegal graffiti. (2014) 

Here we are again! Welcome week. 

One of the main ways we get the word out about our ministry during welcome week is putting our web address in key places around campus.

 

This is the Jordan River Bridge on campus where all manner of student organizations advertise. (2010)

This is our 7th year in college ministry. I find it always a little bittersweet when this week rolls around. It marks the end of the summer and the beginning of school year craziness. At the same time there’s the excitement of new faces and the wonder at what God will do in the coming year. 

Salt and light was a theme we went with for a couple years. It was on our tshirts, too.

 

For further explanation of Welcome Week check out last year’s post. 

 

 

Please join us in praying this week!

• 

  Usually done under the cover of night. And it may well be painted over in 24 hours. The original, 2008.

  Pray that our returning students would serve and love others with joy as they chalk, flier, and meet new students.

• Pray that God would give our students and leaders love for the lost and a desire to see God’s kingdom come on the campus of IU and in Bloomington.
• Pray for students new to IU, Christians and non-believers, that they’d seek fellowship with God’s people.
• Finally, pray for our kick off meeting on Thursday night at 8pm.

Our new logo. A C with a cross and part of the Sample Gates. (a monument of sorts on campus)

Tuesdays this summer

I’ve said before that Tuesdays are big days for us. This summer was no different. Every Tuesday evening at 7pm about 30 people gathered at our house. A number of people kicked the soccer ball or threw the football on the lawn while others chatted inside until study began. Three CNCF interns taught through Nehemiah. We really enjoyed being able to open our home each week to hang out and worship with these students.

Summer study ended a couple weeks ago. This past Tuesday the CNCF leadership team met at our house to prep for the back to school events over the next week and a half. This Saturday is our launch party for the year where we get returning students on board and ready to get on campus chalking, flyering, and talking to new students about our ministry in the new school year. Whew! It’s coming fast!

Next up: Welcome Week festivities

Hello out there!

I didn’t really intend to go on a summer hiatus from updating this thing, but looks like it happened. At the start of the summer several people asked us if the summer brings a slower pace. After the first couple times we just had to laugh. Summer provides a break from school year busy-ness, but gives a different kind of busy. As far as Jake is concerned summer is the time to catch up on all the work he wasn’t able to do during the school year. You might be wondering what that means. Jake is not only a college pastor, but is largely responsible for a humble little upstart publishing house. Maybe you’ve heard of a little thing called the Warhorn. We’ll talk more about that some other time.

As for everything else, we’ve been kept on our toes by baseball, summer Bible study, growing children (Geneva’s almost 5 months old!), traveling, a new house (holy cow house projects!) and so on. There’s so much I could share. Hopefully I’ll get to posting about some of what we’ve been doing. But, since the start of school is upon us I’ll be posting a few things about that in the coming days. Until then, I’ll leave you with some cuteness, free of charge.

Abe so far is a boy of few words. Ball, Mama, Papa, up, apple, cookie, car, and of course no. Until this happened the other night out of nowhere.

Also, this…

the perils of childhood. It’s a wonder how any of us made it out in one piece. ; )

To be a happy mother…

I wished my mom a happy mother’s day with this video. It’s pretty sweet, I think you’ll like it, too.

Me and my chillens. There are times that I don’t feel so warm and Mother’s Day about them, but they truly are the best.

Below is a devotional I gave at a baby shower several weeks ago, when Geneva was just 3 weeks old. I wish I had read my mother’s day post from last year and I would’ve saved myself some time and energy! I hope you’re encouraged in reading it, to be a happy mother.

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

It’s become clear to me over the past year or so that no one actually wants to be a mother, myself included. At least if they’re being honest with themselves.

I remember seeing a commercial on tv when I was younger, maybe 12 or 13. They were targeting young girls or women who were either struggling with depression, or drugs and alcohol, maybe both. I don’t really remember, but I do remember from one of the commercials there was this downcast girl and a crying baby. The imagery of the baby in the commercial started out sweet and ended with the baby crying and then the voice in the commercial says something like, “A baby isn’t going to solve your problems. It can wait.” It was conveyed in the commercial that the girl wanted someone to love and to love her back. The baby was going to be that for her. At the time I was kind of confused by the ad, because I knew babies are a lot of work. But it makes perfect sense. It’s about me and what I want. If anyone wants to have a baby it’s because they want one. And if they don’t it’s because they realize the work and demands on their own lives and aren’t interested.

In today’s culture we design our lives to fulfill our hopes and dreams. If a woman wants a baby, she doesn’t even need a husband or a man, and there’s not even any real shame with that. But for the average couple, even Christians, they plot and plan, sometimes for righteousness sake, but more often times not. They have to get their ducks in a row and their playing out of the way. The status climbing, career building, life living. But for what? What is life for?

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 16:24-25

As God’s children we were made to be like him, made to be like his firstborn, Jesus. Jesus spent his life for our sakes. He used it all up, completely, there was nothing left. Why? “For the joy set before him,” Hebrews says. As Christians we were made to bear fruit for the Lord. Jesus laid down his life to win for his father a people. A people devoted to good works. A fruit bearing people. Think of all the times in Scripture where it talks about fruit.

Matthew 7:17-20 says, “So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.”

Jesus calls himself the vine and the Father the vinedresser in John 15. He says, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” Vs. 4-5

And of course the very familiar verse from Psalm 127, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” A heritage and a reward. Those are such good words. It calls them fruit. Fruit takes work. To get beautiful, sweet, tasty fruit takes long hours of toil, blood, sweat, and tears to nourish the soil, to cultivate and prune the plant. But the work pays off. There is gain! There is gain, but it won’t be the kind that makes you popular with your old friends or gives you the life of ease. Bearing fruit is an ongoing work, a life long business.

The fruit of the womb… Genensis says, “In pain she shall bring forth children…” Bearing the fruit of children means enduring the nine plus months of pregnancy, full out with sickness, tiredness, itchy stretching skin, ligaments that are being pulled and strained, swollen achy feet, sleepless and restless nights, pregnancy brain, heartburn, varicose veins, and on and on. And then labor and delivery and recovery! This is difficult work. And it doesn’t end there. The pain of childbearing continues in small and big ways. Navigating the early years of sleeplessness and 24/7 care, training a stubborn toddler and later on trying to discipline a rebellious teenager, perhaps facing rejection from your children as they grow into adulthood, any number of sicknesses, accidents and heartaches along the way. And of course, these things aren’t even givens. God can collect on his loan anytime he likes. He can take your child from you, even before he is born. Add to this the acuteness with which we see our sin drawn out of our own hearts by our children. These are the things that make many women turn tail and run. These are the things that create great vulnerability and weakness for us as mothers. But I just said a minute ago that there is gain. And there is. The joy (and relief) of seeing and holding your baby for the first time, teaching him things and watching him grow into a real boy. Seeing the fruit of your discipline in his young heart. Watching him grow up to love the Lord in tangible ways. Enjoying friendship with him as he grows into an adult. Looking on as he marries and makes a family of his own. These and many more are the sweet joys that come along with having children.

The rest of Psalm 127 says, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” (Notice the exclamation point, contrary to popular opinion this is actually good and exciting!) But we spurn anything that requires something of us. We skirt around hard work at every turn, unless of course it will make us look good or get us some kind of selfish gain.

The world gets it so backwards. Women psych themselves up for the empowerment of birth and glorifying their inner strength, and the beauty and wonder of liquid gold and breastfeeding, and a life of being the Mother. The One your baby (and the world) depends on. The super mom with the clean, obedient, and smart kids, or the hip, cool mom who shirks the super mom cape and raises her kids care free. While it’s true, your baby depends on you, God is the one who holds it together. God is the creator and the master designer that created our bodies to bear and bring forth children and to nurse them and it is wonderful. It’s wonderful because he did it. And he did it so perfectly and amazingly well and he’s allowing us to be apart of it! Apart of His story and plan to bring about fruit for his kingdom. This is a big deal. But not one that should make us well up with pride and roaring woman power. One that should cause us to fall down in humility and praise the Creator of the universe.

1 Timothy 2:15 says that “she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.” This verse has a few meanings, but not the least of which is that one of the primary ways women are sanctified is through the bearing of children. For many of us that means bearing them in our own bodies and raising them. For others it means not being able to carry our own children for whatever reason. Some still, are in a cross section of the two.

As a mother to be, you are about to embark on perhaps the most difficult task of your life. Labor and delivery will be hard, and it will be something that changes you. But it’s just the beginning of motherhood, which will change you even more in ways you have never imagined. You’ll see things about yourself that you believed weren’t there. Some good, a lot bad. Take courage and follow God into it. Give yourself wholeheartedly to the path that God has called you to, thorns and all. Abide in him and bear fruit. Your birth may not go how you imagined and the newborn days may not be what you thought. All manner of things are going to tempt you toward anger, fear, and discontentment. Decide now to trust God. You’ve been a mother to young women and you’ve done excellently. Mothering your own children isn’t unlike that in many ways, but you’ve been waiting quite awhile for this and we are excited and thankful that God has answered prayers and seen fit to bless you with this little boy. Keep fighting the good fight and put your faith and hope in the Lord, he will lead you on. In the face of many joys and difficulties seek the Lord. Rely on him. Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things, all the things that make you anxious, will be added to you. He won’t leave you but will sustain you and establish your steps if you walk in humble obedience with him. When your sin smacks you in the face, don’t be discouraged. God is not surprised. Instead repent quickly and often. Make the path to the cross a short one.

Now, just a few practical things:

• In the first few weeks, sit as much as possible and drink as much water as possible. Both will help you heal and feel better faster.
• Take the help offered to you. It’s the joy and responsibility of the Body to serve you during this time.
• Find ways to love your husband. He’ll need it.
• Laugh. Weird things happen after you have a baby.
• Read your Bible and pray. Welcoming a new baby turns your life upside down, but this is for your health and survival.

Finally, bear good fruit. Don’t be the diseased tree that produces bad fruit and is cut off. Lose your life for the sake of your baby, your family, and the kingdom and you will find it.

All around the yard

Spring is springing all over our yard!

The crocuses are all done by now, but they were pretty little things while they lasted. Daffodils. Hyacinth. Peony (hard to see, it’s right there by the scalloped piece of edging). Lavendar (not visible). The weeping cherry (tree unfortunately placed too close to the driveway) was pretty and white for about two days until we got that blip of yucky freezing rain and temperatures a week or two ago.

First round of Name That Perennial…pretty sure the stuff right next to the edging is some weedy thing, but what about the other toward the top middle and bottom right..anything worth noting?

Seedum. Some kind of pretty purpley ground cover (2). Butterfly bush like thing there on the end. Before this shot the bed was filled in with loads of leaves. Much better without.

Weepy grass thing, that I can never remember the name of (3). More seedum. A lily of some kind. Supposedly another butterflyish bush. Good ole dandelions.

Some pinky stuff (4). And…something else, in the crack of the road. At first I thought it was another kind of lily. Then I thought it might be corn. Who knows.

More seedum. More lilies of sorts, I think. Peony. A pitiful forsythia. Daffodils. And something that looks like mini hyacinth (5).

Roses, we thinks.

And this little ferny stuff (6).

Another lily. Black eyed susan. Something minty. Peony.

This a pet memorial garden. Yup. Hydrangea. Four other bushes.

? There’s another of these by the lamp post in the front yard. (7)

Remember the stuff growing in the gutter of the road? Here it is again, on the north side of the house.

And again at the back of the house.

And a whole bunch of it in the garden. Our neighbor says the previous owner put all kinds of lilies all over. So it’s just going to be my default guess.

And a few more random ones in the backyard. There’s another coming up in the compost pile.

Back over in the garden…yucca. Some viney bushy thing (8).

The buds on this are light green, white, and pink and fuzzy. Any ideas? (9)

Another pretty mystery plant coming up in the wooded back corner of the back yard. (10)

A couple others that are popping up everywhere. (11)

(12)

Feel free to make a guess if you have one!

Geneva

It’s been almost a month since she was born. How can this be?! It doesn’t feel like life has slowed much since little Geneva joined our family. Peter turned 6(!) and started baseball practices. I gave a devotional at a friend’s baby shower. We very unfortunately lost Jake’s grandfather (his mother’s father, Max Hellums) and traveled to be at the services. Geneva and I attended our church’s ladies retreat. And Jake’s work has continued on busy busy with meetings, sermons, and articles. I meant to write this post after the first week and then the next and the next, but I had to sleep at some point so it didn’t get done. I’m still trying to catch up on sleep, but…who am I kidding!

Geneva Joy was born on Sunday March 16 at 11:15 am. My smallest baby, she weighed 7 pounds and 14 ounces and was 20 inches long.

Born 10 days after her due date, I was about to lose hope of her coming on her own. I was afraid that I’d have to be induced like I was with kids 1-3. But labor did start spontaneously and once it got serious there was no stopping her. Everything in labor and delivery went swimmingly and for that we are very thankful.

We quickly concluded that she looks most like Iain. Iain with some Lucy.

Something of interest: we caught just a small enough peek at her eyes by this point to know that she had them. She wasn’t at all interested in opening them, for the greater part of her first 3 weeks or so.

This little girl is named after this other young lady.

This is my grandmother, Geneva Ruth Conrad, on her 18th birthday and wedding day. When my dad told her the name of her newest great grandbaby she was simply beside herself and thought he was pulling her leg.  She’s a sweet and godly woman, lover of butterflies, teddy bears, UK basketball, and the Cincinnati Reds. She tells us she and Papaw pray for us and all her children and grandchildren daily.

Another factor in our choosing Geneva comes from Geneva, Switzerland, which was a prominent place in the time of the Protestant Reformation under John Calvin.

It’s our prayer that she will know the joy of the Lord from an early age and bring joy to us and many others in her lifetime.

 

The angry spiral

One morning a couple weeks ago, like too many mornings, I was rushing us out the door leaving patience, kindness, and self control by the wayside. In the midst of my frenzy I started noticing the mounting pile of things I was growing aggravated about. Children fussing about leggings that were getting pushed up, misplaced shoes hiding under coats, coats having fallen off hangers, various things out of place (when they have no real home, yet) being big pregnant and out of breath and unable to carry as many things at once, and “It is so stinking cold and I have no idea where my mittens are!”

I’ve already mentioned that this kind of thing is all too frequent in my world and I know you’re with me, chances are if you have a couple kids or if you don’t, you’ve been there, too. I’ve started throwing in being angry with my stupid, angry self for being stupid and angry over and over again. It’s there that I might actually get somewhere, but it’s all too tempting to keep pointing the finger at anything else. “If only I could have a little time by myself every now and then.” “If only he realized…” “If only the kids weren’t so whiny.” “If only everything was organized.” “Why do we have to have all these kids?!” (Thanks, George Bailey)

A conversation I had many years ago while working in a daycare center came to mind. After being around so many lovesick two and a half year olds, plus my growing convictions of biblical womanhood, I became convinced that children need their mother at home. The other woman I was talking to argued that not all women were cut out to stay at home. (You don’t need me to say that I don’t think working outside the home is in every case a bad idea. I don’t.)

Even though I knew it was a lie then, and even more now, it still creeps in at times like these. “I can’t possibly take on more children. Look how I’m doing with these ones already?! I’d need to be committed to an institution if… How is she so happy and easy going? I’m just not cut out for this.” These lies and others are the tools Satan uses to tempt us to become discontent, lose faith and any kind of peace or joy that sustains us in the face of difficulty as mothers.

You know the spiral. Rough morning scramble to get out the door, fussy naptime protesters, cranky bedtime routine by yourself, again. It’s so easy to get to (and cross) that fine line of being under control and pressing on cheerfully to totally flipping your lid in an instant. And then you’ve blown it again. Despair, anger, even more edginess. Even when you do make some small repentance you lack the faith to fully trust in the Holy Spirit’s power to work and don’t actually repent of your lack of joy and cheerfulness in the work, because how many times have you done this before and continued to fail, even minutes later?

In the van now and on our way, my train of thought continues with more things to grumble about. Where does it end?! Since I have a longer drive now I had more time to think. I knew a little getaway was coming that weekend so in an attempt to escape my sin and the little prods that bring it to the surface I was tempted to muscle through believing that it will be better once I have a little time away from them. But even without the getaway coming, it can be anything. Just wait until I get to Bible study or naptime or bedtime, or when my husband gets home and it will get better. All I wanted was an escape hatch to continue denying the reality that the fault belongs to me for all this angry mess. Thankfully though, the Holy Spirit was breaking through to my hard heart and conscience. I started thinking of the antidote to this all too familiar situation. It’s not my children, it’s not my partially unpacked and disorderly house, it’s not the weather, it’s not anyone or anything else that’s causing these angry episodes. It’s ME.

Later that afternoon I sat down with the kids and apologized to them for being angry and asked for their forgiveness. They quickly gave it and we talked for a minute about how we need forgiveness and God’s help when we sin, Mama is no different. I’m always so reluctant to do this in the same way I’m reluctant to confess my sin to God, but saying it out loud to the kids, is that really necessary? But God blessed that little step of obedience with freedom and peace. Baby steps of faith bring blessing. God is not a miserly, hard to please father.

Here’s the point. Being a mother is hard. Dealing with other people, of any size, day in and day out who see your sin and you theirs, is hard. Loving anyone else besides ourselves is hard. What we need is repentance, not 10 minutes and then an escape to an easier situation. We need real confession, forgiveness, and repentance. Don’t let the spiral get out of control. Cut it short and repent.

But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. James 1:14-15 (read the rest of James 1 while you’re at it.)

Really repent. Put off and put on.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:3-5

Did you catch that last part? “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.” Repent with hope and faith. If you are in Christ, humility and selflessness is yours in him.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15

Compassion. Kindness. Humility. Patience. Forgiveness. And be thankful.

Paint

Several people have commented on our paint colors so I thought it might be helpful to more people if I shared here how we arrived at these colors. As much as I’d like to take full credit for picking them out myself Jake really had a lot to do with it. Even though most of his work as a painter was in Auto Zones and shopping mall stores, he developed a pretty good eye for color. Since then several different people have asked for his advice when picking out their own paint colors.

I had some ideas of what I wanted and where. I knew I wanted a gold for the living and dining room, a really light minty blue in the kitchen, gray and white stripes in the boys room, an aqua/tealish color for the girls room, and something light for the playroom, since there would already be enough intensity in there. The bathrooms and our bedroom is where I struggled. I never seem to have very much inspiration for those places, at least not enough for decisive action.

Another thing Jake learned from painting is that it can be pretty easy to pick colors that might look okay, but don’t exactly jive. Colors can be complicated. Because of this, he likes to look at ready made designer palettes. That way you know for sure the colors you’re picking will work well next to each other and you can use the other colors from the palette to help inform your decorating. The next thing is that Jake is a Sherwin Williams loyalist. We went over to the Sherwin store and found a palette we liked that would suit the ideas we had. It’s called Urban Organic.

Just a quick run down: entryway, master, and upstairs bath-jersey cream, living/dining-beeswax, kitchen, playroom-dewy, boys-zeus and crisp linen, girls-hazel, laundry room-earthen jug, office-hearts of palm.

If you’re looking closely you’ll notice that dewy isn’t actually in this palette. I was really set on having something like that color so we looked at the color family that hazel is in and went up a couple steps.

Another tip Jake tells people a lot is to pick a few key colors and carry them throughout the house. For us that’s the gold and blues. Gray and orange are becoming bigger players as more painting projects are done. The upstairs bathroom will be going armagnac and our bedroom will likely go to zeus. Gray and orange will also be present in accents. A gray rug for our living room should be showing up today!

For our apartment Jake had me do the same kind of thing for picking colors. I started using the fun tools on Sherwin’s site to find coordinating colors. If you remember from pictures, the living room was green with the long accent wall into the dining room a strong tealish blue (in the header above). Here‘s where they came from. We also painted the back of the dining room and the kitchen a very light gray (modern gray) which was a coordinating color for the blue.

When picking colors there are of course several other factors you have to consider. Size of the room, lighting, furniture, etc. It’s not exactly a science and we’re not experts, but this how we decided what direction to go in. I hope it’s helpful to some of you!